By now I am quite sure all readers of this blog (yes, all 4 of u) are aware of my outstation trip as well as the hubbs’. Apparently, T.aiwan and J.akarta wasn’t enough. Hubbs will be sent to the US of A and I shall be speaking mandarin yet again in C.hina. Why does he get sent to all the nice places and I get to be sent to places where it’s hard to even find food??? Am I jealous? Not entirely, it just sucks that I couldn’t tag along due to the monetary issues. Grrr… And he gets sent on the company’s resources. Nevermind. One fine day perhaps huh. Best gila wei dapat pegi L.A. and B.oston.

I STILL am not over the separation anxiety. Not even with hubbs. I still shudder at the thoughts of twosome nights instead of three now and I shall definitely miss the morning and evening conversations privately in the car as we commute back n forth work. Hmmmph. In fact, come to think of it, I DON’T WANT to get used to this. Just let me miss him hehehehe.

Aannyywwaaayyys, the point is: Remember the previous posting about me dreading my trip so much as I worry too much for the little girl? I am learning to bypass that slowly. Honest truth be told, a part of me trust hubbs alone with her; but the BIGGER part of me doesn’t. I mean, men. What do they really know about taking care of a child, in this case a 2-month-old infant? Not that he has never helped to take care of her, of course he has, but in all the previous times, I was there too. I was always looming in the background whenever she refuses to be pacified by him, waiting for him to pass her to me so I can shush her with nummies and on many occasions I just went right over and took her from him. I kept a corner of my eye on them while he tries hard to put the fussy cranky sleepy baby to sleep while pretending to work on the laptop. He never had to do these things alone. I worry that he would be facing the laptop too much and neglect her or just pass her off to someone else (his office Internet connection broke down for like a whole month then and my hubbs just simply CANNOT live a day without a minimum of 2 hours on the web). I worry he wouldn’t hear her cry when asleep (as usual la, men ‘tido mati’ kan). I worry he would roll over her in his sleep (as he almost did on a few occasions but I managed to put out my hand to stop him even WHILE I’m sleeping. I believe it was my supermom-superinstincts at work). But then I know this is what I HAVE to do; like it or not. I HAVE to trust him. And that I did. The result?

Butterflies. Yes, butterflies. The kind you have flying in your tummy, sometimes even swimming. Coz these are the changes I saw when I came back from the 6 day trip.

Before I left, the lil girl can last about 10 mins in her Daddy’s arms before whining out for me to take her. Whenever the 2 of us lay her down on the bed to play with her, she will almost always focus on ME alone, hardly ever scanning for her daddy. She needs ME to feed her, and only ME (or my mom) can put her to bed. Her daddy could hardly make her smile to save her life. She used to wail when changed. And now???

She reaches out for her daddy.. if someone else is carrying her. She will cry when her daddy passes her to someone else. She looks at BOTH of us, turn by turn when we play with her on the bed. She looks at her daddy straight in the eye when he feeds her. She loves to be rocked to sleep and patted on her diaper-padded bums by daddy. She smiles wide when daddy greets or smile at her. She coos and makes her cute baby sounds as daddy change her. She looks at him excitedly when he sings to her in his own way. She absolutely loves it when daddy carries her around in the baby carrier. I am of course absolutely definitely ecstatic at these changes.

And best of all, at night while asleep, BOTH of us will open our eyes immediately when she so much as make an “ekkk” sound and daddy is by her cot in a flash to soothe her. He doesn’t even almost-roll on her anymore. He has developed his own ’superdaddy-superinstincts’ when it comes to the lil girl. I can jump on my side of the bed or even cross over him to go to the toilet and he wouldn’t even stir but the slightest sound from his daughter will wake him.

All this developed in the course of 6 short days they were alone at night and weekends. Hubbs is now a certified child-carer for the lil girl. Feed, burp, change, wash poo, bathe, put to sleep; u name it, he mastered it.

I couldn’t be more proud of him; thus the butterfly effect I get as I watch the bond between father and daughter become stronger than ever before.

And since I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason; now I know the reason I had to leave my bab(ies)y behind for work. It’s for the butterflies :)

p/s: I added this new category for me to blab on and on about my little family :D

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