Bad mother me, so obsessed about Daddy’s going away that I totally forgot to write a post about Ayra turning 5 months old! That was Ayra on a Saturday morning while Mommy was busy chatting with Daddy.. Ayra has shown real interest to the lappy yeah hehehehe..

Anyways, that was taken the day before…. I CUT HER HAIR. I did!!! She didn’t look too messy in this pic coz the hair was nicely put to the side.. but if they’re hung front, they almost reached her nose! One bad habit of hers is she loves to put her hands into the hair behind the ears and start pulling them in all directions. Of course I panicked and since I don’t want her crying after doing that and pulling off more hair, I got it cut. I could have done a better job, but I would say it wasn’t all that bad. I cut her fringe, though not straight as her hair is sooo fiiinnneeee it’s hard to get them straight in my hands and she kept wriggling! I cut her sideburn too (sorry daddy, your pride and joy sideburn is now short) so she doesn’t have the hair ‘lentik2′ to the side from the front view anymore.. and I also cut the back hair, where it was soo longgggg damn I almost cried but I know it was something I HAD to do coz she looks ‘rimas’ with her hair.. so there, our pride and joy about her having longgg thick hair is gone.. her hair is still thick, though not long anymore. I am sad at the impulse decision I made there and then but then I know it had to be done. Now quit thinking about it, it will grow again hehehe.

I took some pics of her with her now-rounded-instead-of-used-to-be-wispy hair.. but haven’t uploaded them. Tomorrow perhaps yeah?

Now, her developments…

• She started talking a lot again.. with more sounds.. like “mememamamammmmmmm” and “babebebububbrrrrrr”
• She cries less but gets bored a lot more easily!! Gahhh!!
• She sleeps earlier at about 8+, but kept waking up during the night! I tried to keep her awake till 9 but she was already grumpy so had to put her to sleep. Did I speak too soon when I once said I was grateful she can sleep 9pm-5am earlier?? Can anybody explain whyyy she wakes up a lot now?
• She also has done some stunts as in for 3 night, she woke up and REFUSED to go back to sleep. Panda-eyed mommy had to layan her
• She LOVES to sit up. I can’t put her in the bouncer anymore as the bouncer slants to the back whereas she will be pulling her head and body to the front, trying to get up. So we had to prop her up on the sofa, she likes it better there. Does that mean the bouncer has seen it’s end??? Ouh and anybody knows where do I get Bumbo sitter? Any testimonials on it’s use??? (This is great having a network of mommies with babies older than mine)

I am slowly trying to pull myself together and get over the anxiety and depression… I know she can catch on my feelings so I have been trying hard to gather myself and act brave in front of her.. I have been trying to take more care of her too, telling myself that I only see her for a few hours each day except weekends and I have to cherish every moment I have. It is still hard, but I really hope I am slowly getting over the depression. I don’t wanna end up a bad mommy or someone who is afraid of her own sweet lil child..

Daddy on the other hand, has been busy shopping for all of us… he has bought me some stuff (oh hubbs really know how to ‘ambil hati’ his wife now, thanks darling!) I wanted and would love to have, and also some stuff for the kiddo… I am not sure if it is getting better, but I am definitely happier today coz aside from hubbs ordering and buying stuff for me, the in-laws are coming home today too. Wooohooo!!! That should help A LOT in the loneliness department. So darling, it is 10 days down, and 15 more to go.

Cepat2 laaaaa Raya…….

A happy girl in the morning… with her wide toothless gummy smile…. warms me up everytime!

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