Now this post might bring on some smirks and such, but I just feel the need to write about our parenting ’skills’, if u can call it that.

Before Ayra was born, during my pregnancy I read this just to know what is happening to my body and how the baby inside me was growing. I tried to follow as much as I can on the expert’s advice. Then after she was born, I got this book, to give me an insight on how to take care of my first baby and what to watch out for etcetera. During her first few months of life, that book was my bible. I referred to it for every single thing every single step of her life. But then, after some time, I realized we gotta establish our own parenting style and the book is just a guidance (yeah that’s what they said in there too hahaha). And after some time, as I got busier ‘parenting’ and she didn’t sleep as much, I just stopped referring to it at all, only occasionally opening the index to look for words like ‘eczema’ and ‘allergy’*.

*Ouh by the way, on that, we discovered lately that Ayra has an allergy to chicken. I tried to switch her diet from fish porridge to chicken porridge just for variety but she developed rashes on her face, especially under her eyes. She had this puffiness and redness and dark circles under her eyes and some rashes on the rest of her face. Poor girl looked so pitiful! To this day we don’t know for sure if it’s chicken but the doc said chicken is more allergen than fish and so once switched back to fish, she seems fine and the rashes are gone. My girl’s skin is soooo sensitive! And poor her for not being able to eat chicken. Looks like it’s fish for a long time to come :(

Anyways back to the story. You could say our style is more of a relaxed style. Let’s see if I can list down some stuff. This can really lead to some people disagreeing with me but then again it’s our child and our choices hehehehe. I am just writing this down for my own remembrance and just so maybe one day Ayra can read on how she was brought up, 1 year into her life.

• Don’t take your child out when she’s too young, there’s too many germs and viruses around. We took her with us almost everywhere we went, starting from right after confinement (and maybe twice even during hehehe). Of course we’re freaked about the viruses and germs and all, but a bigger part of me don’t have the heart to leave her at home and no way am I myself gonna get cooped up as well just because. And I believe, maybe because of this, she’s sort of forced to build up her immunity system. After all, too much of a wall built around your child can’t be good eh? Yeah I get the “Oh my God ur baby is soo tiny and yet you already brought her out??” But I just smile and went on my way. Thank God, no harm came to Ayra on that.
• Teach your child to sleep on her own after about 6 months coz she doesn’t need the night feedings already. This, I know is actually for the parents’ own benefit. But this is also another thing which I just cannot do. I pamper and ‘baby’ her to sleep, each and every night right up till now. I know the best way to teach her is to let her cry it out but I. just. don’t. have. the. heart. I am such a softie hahaha. I let her nurse till she sleeps, I let her ‘hang’ on me for hours on end. It’s not her fault she can’t sleep on her own. It’s mine. And I shove my nips into her mouth the moment she wakes up in the middle of the night, thus encouraging night feedings. Yes, even now. It does get tiring after more than a year of no good night’s sleep but still I put her needs above mine and I can’t (or won’t) wean her off. I worry if I don’t feed her at night, my milk supply will dwindle (though it already is) and I am not done and not ready to NOT nurse her. So, I am sacrificing my rest for this. Seriously I want her to sleep on her own and through the night but but but but. Gahhhh. Hehehehe.
• Wash every single item and toy that your baby plays with and do not let her pick up things from the floor. Germs! Hahahaha. We are also very relaxed on this ruling. Not that we let her crawl on dirt or put dirty stuff in her mouth la, but we do not wash every single item that has fallen to the floor. That is, if we’re confident the floor is somewhat clean. We close one eye when her toy has fallen to the floor (ok I have to stress this is only if the floor is in the house and clean, don’t wanna seem like we’re pengotor), and we just pick it up, dust it off and give it back to her. Of course her not using a pacifier helps and of course if she does I will wash it! I won’t let my child suck on a pacifier with dust stuck on it! But I have to mention this, taking word from my sister who has 2 boys. She babied the first one so much, washing every single item that comes into contact with him. As a result, he is soooo prone to germs. If he comes into contact with a dirty item, he gets sick. But with the second one, she was more relaxed and he built his own immunity. So there hehehehe.
• Don’t feed your child what you eat! It’s not healthy!! I used to cringe at this. Since she was 5 months old, Ayra was being fed cereal but only occasionally. I used to cringe coz EVERYONE else in the family thinks she can already be fed with whatever. So she started getting tastes of ice-cream, chocolates, sweets, various snacks, biscuits, even rice. And they do it when I wasn’t around. I used to be pretty pissed about it but of course, they’re family and they actually mean good by saying “kesian dia tengok orang makan, kasi la dia rasa“. After she turned 8-9 months, I relaxed a bit, coz by then I am confident she has stronger digestive system and such. And so, even we started doing it hahaha. Now she gets to taste almost whatever we’re eating unless it’s spicy. She ate whole pieces of Cadbury milk chocs, half my ice-cream, and I even let her taste my Slurpee once. Most of that ended up on her clothes and mine coz she opened her mouth in shock at the coldness of the drink hahahaha. Now since she start to ‘ask’ for what we eat and seem very very curious (to the point that she will come climb up into our laps and just take a quick bite at whatever we’re holding in our hands), we let her taste more. But I put the stop at things that she can’t easily mash or big pieces of food. Coz this little girl, doesn’t even attempt to chew. She just swallows everything in her mouth. Malas betul.
• Regulate the room temperature appropriately around your child. Our paed’s advice was, 24 degrees when it’s hot, 26 degrees when it’s cold. Our whole house is air-conditioned, save for the maid’s room. During the day she sleeps in the maid’s room and hence will use the fan. Alas, this girl sweats A LOT and gets her hair washed twice a day. Her parents pulak, can’t bear to see her sweat. We set the temperature according to her. If she sweats, down the temperature goes. At night, both of us sleep under thick comforters and she can sleep spread-eagled without any covers and still SWEAT. This results in a very very manja child tsk tsk. Once she enters a non air-conditioned room, she starts sweating, no matter if it’s not hot at all. And her parents usually only take her to malls. Tsskkkkk. Susah bawak balik kampung ok…
• Read to your child often. This is good for their speech and language development. Now this, we attempt to do, even now. Thing is, Ayra loves books. To flip the pages, to gawk and point at the pictures, and especially to chew on. BUT, not to be read to. Hahahaha. She will pull the book from you, throw it away and crawl off the moment u attempt to sit in front of her with an open book and read from it. She prefers to do it on her own, at her own time. I will still attempt to do this one.

I guess that is all I could remember for now. And seeing all these points reflects back to me on how I’m bringing my child up. It’s nobody’s fault but ours that she is soooo manja isn’t it. We’re being much too relaxed and treating her like a princess, letting her have her way most of the time! Now we’ll wait another year and see how we attempt to discipline her next. Oh boy, the journey of parenthood….

Now see Ayra, how much we give in to you?? You better be grateful you don’t have a constrained baby-hood and we let you take advantage of us!!!

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